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Virtual Norwood meets The Apprentice


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Poll: Virtual Norwood meets The Apprentice (3 member(s) have cast votes)

The task is find and promote a scheme to regenerate Crystal Palace Park and the Quadrangle- Which team do you want to win?

  1. *FORTES FORTUNA IUVAT* led by Mazus Andronicus (2 votes [66.67%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 66.67%

  2. *E RE NATA* led by Lover of Summits (1 votes [33.33%] - View)

    Percentage of vote: 33.33%

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#1 charlie

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Posted 01 April 2011 - 09:20 AM

VN meets the Apprentice - sneak preview of 4 scenes

Scene 1 - Introduction

Cue serious music:
¶ Dum di, dum di, dum di, dum di ¶ ¶ ¶ ¶ ¶ ¶ ¶ da da da di di do do ¶ ¶ ¶ ¶ ¶
¶ Dum di, dum di, dum di, dum di ¶ ¶ ¶ ¶ ¶ ¶ ¶ da da da di di do do ¶ ¶ ¶ ¶ ¶


Cue camera:
Aerial view of Crystal Palace Mast, National Sports Centre, KICC fleet of mini buses, The Quadrangle, Sainsbury’s Selhurst Park

Camera Zooms in on:
Graffitied headless statues, gangs of marauding children, homeless Crystal Palace Football club fans wandering the park, Special Fried Chicken Shack, and a group of Sloane Rangers banging on the door of Do South

Cue voice over:
Law Dalan Sugar from humble origins in the East End of London (now the site of the Olympic stadium) has built a global empire worth US$1.16 billion

The former chairman of Tottenham Hotspur™ is now looking for a new Apprentice

The candidates are here to compete for the title of top poster with a man famously hard to please


“I don’t care where you come from, whether you started in Crystal Palace Park, Selhurst Park, Church Road, Liverpool or bleedin Beckenham.............All I’m looking for is someone who is drop dead shrewd at posting”

“First prize you get to be King of the Board! Second prize don’t exist!!”

“No one ‘eres gonna make a fool outta me!”

“I think this has been a bl;.dy disaster!

“I promise you my friend you’ll be out of here before you’ve had a chance to say Crystal Palace Local. You won’t know what’s hit you.”



To succeed they are going to have to work together. It’s the chance of a lifetime.

“You went out and you lost me viewers”

“You’re fired, you’re fired, you are a total chambles”

YOUR FIRED™


LAW DALAN’S ON THE HUNT FOR KING POSTER! (Hush)


-End of Scene 1-

To be continued at 11.15am...............



#2 Globex

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Posted 01 April 2011 - 09:26 AM

What's going on with all these terrible 'satires'?

#3 Summit Lover

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Posted 01 April 2011 - 09:51 AM

Does on have to be merely prolific? Or argumentative? Rational? Witty?

#4 charlie

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Posted 01 April 2011 - 10:27 AM

Scene 2 - The Task

Time: 05:00hrs - it takes a long time to get from Islington to the heart of Central South London

Location: National Sports Centre, Crystal Palace Park

Enter team *FORTES FORTUNA IUVAT* led by Mazus Andronicus swiftly followed by Kruger, Eryr, juMi, Dazzler, Giacomo L, Cannon SLR and Central Estate Eagle

Enter team *E RE NATA* led by Lover of Summits followed indecisively by WiZa, Citizen (e)Mpatica, Never KidaKidder, AXEmAn plus faithful companion* Igoogle-theodolite* and Elmod

THE TASK:
Law Dalan (shadowed by Dame Margaret and Karen Bradybunch):

“I bet *your* wondering why *your* here in this world famous iconic building?

Well *youv* all been following the Olympic stadium debacle?

I want you to find and promote a scheme to regenerate Crystal Palace Park and the Quadrangle

You’ve got 48 hours to come up with a scheme and PR campaign

Giacomo L, Central Estate Eagle and Kruger move over to Team *E RE NATA*,and

Citizen (e)Mpatica, AXEmAn and WiZa move over to Team *FORTES FORTUNA IUVAT*”



OFF GO THE TEAMS BACK TO THE HOUSE:

Team *FORTES FORTUNA IUVAT* huddle together.

(Mazus Andronicus, Eryr, juMi, Dazzler, Cannon SLR, AXEmAn, WiZA and Citizen (e)Mpatica)

Mazus Andronicus, a keen football fan, South Londoner and CPFC BBS forum member - famous for getting carried away with his own verbosity - suggests relocating Crystal Palace Football Club (CPFC) to a new stadium in Crystal Palace Park.

24 hours later:
Egged on by juMi and Eryr, and a lack of ideas, the team eventually decide on a 160K seater multi-purpose stadium with hotel complex, conference centre, grandprix race track and associated leisure park to be called *Crystal Palace World of Sport*.

Inspired by the rhetoric on the BBS forum, and the romantic notion of CPFC returning to its birthplace, they ignore the protests of Citizen (e)Mpatica and AXEmAn, and press on.

AXEmAn reluctantly volunteers to cover the technical side of the relocation, searches for his Igoogle-theodolite, and starts mapping the house.

WiZa, remains undecided needing more evidence before being able to come to an informed decision.

Citizen (e)Mpatica plots volunteers to co-ordinate the CPFC2011 PR campaign, and sets off to find a suitable building for the launch - dragging bringing WiZa along with her. Eryr is already several hundred miles in front. After protestations as to the most suitable location, Eryr preferring a sleepy village in Wales, they eventually settle on the KICC headquarters at 25 Church Road, and employ the KICC Senior management team as PR consultants.

Mazus Andronicus and juMi, insistent on co-ordinating operations from the forum house, crack open the Fosters, and sit back in front of a huge wall mounted HD enabled flat screen TV with unlimited subscription to Sky Sports just bought out by multi million pound corporation KICC Entertainment Inc. (Ed: they’re in for a shock)

Cannon SLR *sulks* and says she’s is not joining in. (Ed: big girl’s blouse)

Dazzler, depressed at having been ignored when he suggests that 160K seater stadium is too large for the team’s budget or fan base, whistling the tune of *Always look on the Bright Side of Life*, heads off to Palace Spice for 10 large Banglas and a HUGE helping of Bollywood Burner.

Meanwhile:
Team *E RE NATA* crack open the stash of Dom Pérignon 1975 found in the cellar whilst playing hide and seek during weeks 1-4.

(Lover of Summits, Never KidaKidder, Central Estate Eagle, Giacomo L, Elmod and Kruger)

24 hours later:
Lover of Summits, keen on open air pursuits and a fair weather camper, awakes with huge hangover. Inspired by a dream, she comes up with the idea of relocating the Roma back to their spiritual home in the Upper Norwood (UN) environs of the Great North Woods. This is backed by green enthusiast Kruger who has had a similar awakening.

Giacomo L, Never KidaKidder and Central Estate Eagle are keen on reviving the J-PAX CUBE scheme shelved in 2010.

Elmod steps up from the cellar having found 25 barrels of Grape & Grain homebrew, *hic*, and supports Lover of Summits.

It is agreed. (Ed: time is running out rapidly)

Giacomo L, who has legal and planning experience, volunteers to take on the technical aspects of the relocation supported by Kruger who has design aspirations, and Central Estate Eagle (a demolition expert in real life). They enlist RECCA to assist on the GREEN TRAVEL PLAN for the scheme.

The PR campaign is led by Never KidaKidder supported by Lover of Summits and Elmod.

After a *market testing session* (i.e. beers down the local) with the International Romany Relocation Council (i.e. local gipsy selling heather outside the Royal Albert) they agree *hic* on the OOOO campaign, “One people, One place, One country, One time”, to reclaim the UN territories and bring the Romany back to their spiritual home, their birthplace, their roots, their rights."

Mayhem pursues as the clock counts down to the boardroom.............

-End of Scene 2-


To be continued at 11.40am ish...............


This is being brought to you live by:
Terrible 'Satire' Productions Inc


Edited by charlie, 01 April 2011 - 10:39 AM.


#5 Globex

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Posted 01 April 2011 - 10:34 AM

April Fools day! Sorry I only just worked it out.

Still awful though

Edited by Globex, 01 April 2011 - 10:35 AM.


#6 Summit Lover

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Posted 01 April 2011 - 11:01 AM

'Elmod steps up from the cellar having found 25 barrels of Grape & Grain homebrew, *hic*, and supports Lover of Summits. '

Lover of Sumits sounds like a complete alcoholic! Hardly leadership material Posted Image

Edited by Summit Lover, 01 April 2011 - 11:02 AM.


#7 charlie

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Posted 01 April 2011 - 11:04 AM

Scene 3 - Back in the boardroom, 48 hours late – enter the teams

~Imagine the scene - Law Dalan in a huge chair (think Ronnie Corbett) flanked by Karen Bradybunch (in West Ham kit) and Dame Margaret~


Law Dalan: “Good evening”

All: “Good evening Sir Alan, Sir Sugar, Law Dalan, Lord Sugar you royal holeyness”

Law Dalan: “So Team *FORTES FORTUNA IUVAT* who was your project manager?”

Mazus Andronicus: “Errare humanum est”

Law Dalan: Good team leader?

Team *FORTES FORTUNA IUVAT*: Silence from Citizen (e)Mpatica and WiZa.

AXEmAn looks at his Igoogle-theodolite.

Chanting erupts from Eryr and JuMi – “There’s only One Maz Andronicus, One Maz Andronicus, One Maz Andronicuuuuus, there’s......................”

Law Dalan: “Well that says a lot dun it – mixed feelings team?”

Team *FORTES FORTUNA IUVAT*: “Yes, Law Dalan”

Law Dalan: “Whose idea was it to relocate Crystal Palace Football Club to a new Stadium in Crystal Palace Park?”

Citizen (e)Mpatica: “Him – points at Mazus Andronicus”

Law Dalan: “ ‘ose Him when he’s at home – the cat’s mother?”

Citizen (e)Mpatica - *titter* : “Mazus Andronicus – your Royal Holeyness”

Law Dalan: “What you got to say for *yours elf*?”

Mazus Andronicus: “Abusus non tollit usum”

Law Dalan: And what does that mean exactly when it’s at home?

Mazus Andronicus: “Hoc est verum et nihili nisi verum”

Never KidaKidder interjects: “What, you mean not all football fans are filthy takeaway-spewing violent prole yobbos, and not all residents are hoity toity petit bourgeois house-price-obsessed NIMBY snobs?”

Mazus Andronicus: “I hope not. If only because that would make me a filthy takeaway-spewing violent hoity toity petit bourgeois house-price-obsessed NIMBY yobby snob.”

Mazus Andronicus: “Argumentum ad ignorantiam”

Never KidaKidder: “Audio, video, disco” (Ed: he’s googled it)

Law Dalan: “OK, OK pack it in you two - You’ll have your turn later Never KidaKidder, let him talk.”

Mazus Andronicus: “Gramen artificiosum odi”

Law Dalan: “If I had wanted back chat I'd have asked Citizen M(otor Mouth) ‘ere”

Law Dalan: “Didn’t ya think that local market traders might be concerned about the impact on their main trading day due to the presence of large numbers of football fans marching and driving through the Quadrangle in their Ford Sierras, Golf GTis and 4 x 4s every bleedin Saturday between August and May?” (Ed: Law Dalan’s been having elocution lessons)

Mazus Andronicus - *rapidly googling Latin to Cockney translation*: I think that if we were talking about the 1970/80s then these traders might have cause for concern. In the 21st Century with our Toyota Prius™ powered By Full Hybrid Technology, I can't understand your point. *Mutters under breath* “De gustibus non est disputandum”

Law Dalan: “Don’t you get all latiny with me Sonny Boy – Do I look like I was born a 1000 years ago. You don’t get out much do ya?”

Mazus Andronicus: “I walk round the Quadrangle backwards everyday and have counted at least 547 estate agents.”

Law Dalan: “Wot you got to say for *yerself* Eryr?”

Eryr (Eagle in welsh): Having uncovered Citizen (e)Mpatica’s shadowy role in the events of Dallas 1963, I’m almost afraid to ask for a link to the relevant PPG on MOL planning policy. Especially as I live in an area with lots of open space and grassy knolls. I will no longer be travelling in the back of open top cars waving to the crowds just in case..........................

Reason for Edit: see below

Law Dalan: “Bleedin Nora, if I had wanted War and Peace .................”

Citizen (e)Mpatica: “If I can just interrupt Law Dalan”

Law Dalan: “Keep your mouth shut you’ll have your turn in a minute.”

Law Dalan: Axeman you’ve been quiet?”

AXEmAn: “I thought Mazus Andronicus’ idea was flawed from the very beginning. I thought the area directly south of the stadium would have a large area for parking. The parking area can only cover a limited area of this southern section of hard-standing because most of it will be taken up by pedestrian access and vehicle access.

If you look at this google earth image, *pulls out Igoogle-theodolite*, of new football stadiums you'll see they require far more parking than is possible in the area they chose”

juMI: “Don’t listen to him Law Dalan – he’s a Man City Supporter”

Law Dalan: “And who do you support juMi?”

juMi *bites lip*: “Tottenham Hotspur Law Dalan, West Ham is my second team” *sneaks look at Karen Bradybunch and winks*.

Karen Bradybunch winks back and adjusts kit

Law Dalan: “A great red and blue eagle told me you woz a Palace fan??”

juMi: By now everyone must know that to Palace fans, local, distant or 2010 members, returning to our 'spiritual home' is a genuine desire and is not based on fantasy. Our beginnings at Crystal Palace have not been forgotten and the building is still in our club crest. You can rubbish our scheme but rubbishing that desire is rather insulting. The wish to return is not new; we've tried to return before and our Academy currently inhabits the park.”

Mazus Andronicus - starts to *speak in tongues*: Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo. Da mihi sis bubulae frustrum assae, solana tuberosa in modo gallico fricta, ac quassum lactatum coagulatum crassum.

Dame Margaret :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Citizen (e)Mpatica hums *Keep the Red Flag Flying*

Law Dalan: “WiZa – *your* the bleedin detective – what role did you play – centre forward or left back? What was your take on the team leader – was there a tactical plan to beat the opposition?”

WiZa: “I thought what we needed was more evidence, rather than opinions. We had a professional demographer available – but we didn’t use them. Nobody presented any evidence.

I asked Mazus Andronicus and juMi to provide the links! I needed them, those who knew the club inside and out and who wanted to present it in the best light, to provide the evidence.

Sorry Law Dalan but it would be great if we can move this conversation from opinions, suppositions and projections to comparing evidence for all the possible situations.”

Law Dalan: “Gordon Bennett! Anyone would think it was you were interviewing me! You were meant to be ‘elpin Citizen (e)Mpatica not bleedin excavating for evidence.”

Law Dalan: “So you volunteered for the PR campaign didn’t ya Citizen (e)Mpatica ?”

Law Dalan: “Good campaign team leader?”

Team *FORTES FORTUNA IUVAT*: Silence

Citizen (e)Mpatica: “Well, I’m not called La Cittidana for nothing. I chose the KICC’s head quarters on 25 Church Road and the KICC management team because they have vast experience of public relations and community consultation, and I thought if anyone could sell the regenerative benefits of the scheme it would be the KICC what with their *prayers for the police, sponsored roundabouts, soup kitchens, thrift and Christian Bookshops....*

Law Dalan: “Wooow – hold your horses, hold your horses!!”

Dame Margaret: “The PR campaign was a complete disaster. Didn’t you know that almost 7,000 local residents and 115 local traders signed a petition against the KICC plans? Over 3,500 people objected.?”

Citizen (e)Mpatica winks at Law Dalan: “Exactly, I knew that launching the campaign with KICC as our PR consultants would seriously undermine its credibility. It was all part of the plan – I mean how could the local community resist our generous S106 offer to stick the heads back on the statues and brand the whole town as “Crystal Palace World of Sport.” I am not known as the Citizen for nothing.

Cue music: *Keep the Red Flag Flying*

Law Dalan: “Ok, ok I’ve heard enough from you lot.”

Law Dalan: So Team *E RE NATA* who was your project manager?

Team *E RE NATA* in unison: “Lover of Summits”

Law Dalan: “Good team leader?”

Team *E RE NATA*in unison: “Yes Law Dalan”

Law Dalan: “So what *woz* your idea then?”

Lover of Summits: “The relocation of the Roma back to their spiritual home in the Upper Norwood (UN) environs of the Great North Woods.”

Law Dalan: “Hmmmmmmmmmmm” (Ed: he’s thinking) Giacomo L wot woz your thoughts on that?”

Giacomo L: “Yes, we all agreed. It was a very robust idea in terms of planning policy, and we were able to take the advice of the CPTPG.”

Law Dalan: “Did ya now – that bunch...!” (Ed: Planning’s not Law Dalan’s forte)

Law Dalan: “And, what role did you play Central Estate Eagle? You’ve been very quiet these past few weeks, I’ve had my eye on you.”

Central Estate Eagle: “Yes, Law Dalan make me Team leader on the next task and I promise not to let you down” *grovel grovel*

Law Dalan: “Kruger you were quite keen on the sustainability of the idea?”

Kruger: “I can assure you that my concern for our environment is very sincere Law Dalan. I think we must radically rethink how we live in this city and on this planet, and how will impinge on every aspect of our lives. It was an interesting idea, and the embodied energy involved in the world’s first multi-storey travellers’ camp would be much less than building a 160K seater multi-purpose stadium.”

Law Dalan: “There's no need to lecture me son. Some of the stuff I've seen coming out of your mouth on the Stadium thread is a lot of hot air, so in the interests of climate change just make sure you think before you make your next post.”

Law Dallan: “ Elmod, I’ve been impressed with you up until now, what role did you take on the task?”

Elmod: "Well, Never KidaKidder put me in charge of drinking in moderation Law Dalan"

Law Dalan "Moderation, moderation what's that got to do with the bleedin task??"

Dame Margaret: “You failed miserably”

Law Dalan: “So you woz in charge of the PR campaign weren’t ya Never Kidadder?”

Never KidaKidder: “Indeed Your Royal Sugarness. Lover of Summits, Elmod and I headed into the heart of Central South London, and decided to market test the idea down the Royal Albert. We bumped into Jon Joe O'Leary from the Paddy Press, and the OOOO campaign came out of that”

Law Dalan: "So you was all pizzed woz ya?"

Lover of Summits, Elmod, Never KidaKidder: *Hic* in unison.

Law Dalan: “OK, OK I’ve heard enough now. It’s time to find out which team has won”

-End of Scene 3-


This is being brought to you live by:
Terrible 'Satire' Productions Inc

1 April 2011



To be continued

Roll credits and big thanks for being such good sports to:

Mazus Andronicus was played by Maz

Citizen (e)Mpaticus was played by Citizen M

Eryr (Eagle in welsh) was played by EagleinWales

Axeman was played by Axean

juMi was played by Muji

WiZa was played by Ziwa

Lover of Summits was played by Summit Lover

Giacomo L was played by Jamesl

Never KidaKidder was played by Kidcongo

Kruger played himself

Dazzler played himself

Cannon SLR played himself

Central Estate Eagle played himself

Elmod played himself



#8 muji

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 09:58 AM

It's obvious which team should win.

Charlie obviously watches too much Apprentice. :D

And, by odd coincidence, one of the people I sit with at Palace was Law Dalan's company secretary for 10 years.

Edited by muji, 02 April 2011 - 09:59 AM.


#9 RetiredMember2

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 02:21 PM

It's obvious which team should win.

Charlie obviously watches too much Apprentice. :D

And, by odd coincidence, one of the people I sit with at Palace was Law Dalan's company secretary for 10 years.

Yeah, agree on both points M! "Our" team was obviously robbed :ph34r: Reckon CPFC2010 will be head hunting you me and Maz to lead the next PR push. I'm googling images and latin in preparation :D

#10 charlie

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 05:49 PM

Charlie does watch far too much Apprentice.

Scene 4 – Decision Time

Cue: Camera, serious music

Law Dalan: Well, it’s time to find out ‘oose won - Dame Margaret and Karen Bradybunch here have done the sums.

Karen Bradybunch: *Flicks hair* - Team *E RE NATA* had a slow if not boozy start but they got their heads down, did their market research, and came up with a scheme which was supported by both the International Romany Relocation Council (IRRC) and the Coalition government.

Not only did the scheme meet Circular 01/06 (ODPM): Planning for Gypsy and Traveller Caravan Sites, the London Plan London and Bromley & Croydon councils’ core strategies, but they came up with a novel and very marketable GREEN TRAVEL PLAN with the help of RECCA. The panel liked this.

It was also brilliant idea because it dealt with the park in one foul swoop, and created a niche market for the regeneration of the Quadrangle with a new enterprise for the recycling of scrap metal, old fridges, doors, ornamental bay trees and anything else left out in your back yard etc......... This will be a real draw to the area.

The IRRC were so impressed with the OOOO campaign that they have adopted it.

3 out 7 member of the Upper Norwood Improvement Team Expert Planning Panel voted for the scheme but with the Chair holding the casting vote it was really a foregone conclusion.

(Ed: And, it puts the kibosh on Tottenham’s plans for the park - no conflict of interest there then)

Dame Margaret: *Rolls eyes* – “Team *FORTES FORTUNA IUVAT* also had a slow start but they rolled up their sleeves, and came up with a scheme that had the support of all the local community. The trouble is it didn’t did it Team *FORTES FORTUNA IUVAT*???”

Dame Margaret: “Do you or don’t you accept Mazus Andronicus that in assessing impact it was perfectly rational to examine the existing precedent of large events at the NSC, whether it be Coldplay or athletics events and also examine the impact from the existing use of Selhurst Park e.g. the difference experience of between Norwood High Street on a match day to a Saturday when CPFC are playing away?”

Mazus Andronicus: “It was rational to start there. But since traffic was a known problem that needed to be addressed (I would not myself support any proposal that used nothing but the existing road infrastructure – back track, backtrack) I thought it was foolish to use it as a basis of assessment.”

Law Dalan: “So why did you propose the bleedin project in the first place? How did ya assess the impact?”

Mazus Andronicus: “I consulted the Oracle – Dazzler, Law Dalan.”

Law Dalan: How did the team do Dame Margaret?

Lady Margaret: Well, the idea had huge support from CPFC2010, a significant number of local traders, and Croydon council. 3 out 7 members of the Upper Norwood Improvement Team Expert Planning panel voted for the scheme.

Law Dalan: “Well, well, who’d have believed it - well done Team *E RE NATA*. I’ve got some nice treats lined up for you – a coffee singing evening at the New Deli - Good Taste Food and Drink on Westow hill , followed by a meal in Mediterranea, after dinner drinks in Numidie bar, and a visit to Do South – all expenses paid.”

Law Dalan: “ Bad, bad luck Team *FORTES FORTUNA IUVAT* it was a close run thing, being a football fan at heart I have great sympathy with you, Karen Bradybunch and I thought it was a great idea, there was only a goal in it, but one vote is one vote in my book.”

Mazus Andronicus: “Cum homine de cane debeo congredi”

Law Dalan: Get yourselves back to the CP Stadium Redevelopment thread, and I’ll see you back in the boardroom tomorrow.

-The END-



#11 Law Dalan Sugar

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 07:24 AM

Looks like someone else apart from Mazus Andronicus got carried away with the exuberence of their own verbosity didn't it?

Charlie: "Yes, Law Dallan"

"Charlie - You went out and you lost me viewers”

“You are a total chambles”



YOUR FIRED™



#12 Law Dalan Sugar

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Posted 02 May 2011 - 10:04 AM

Time to move this to the Tavern please Lover of Summits and Elmod.

My new series starts on Tuesday 3rd May.

Here's a recap of the last series - you get the picture.



#13 St. Lukes Railings

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Posted 02 May 2011 - 11:56 AM

Erm. As much as I was ecstatic to have been cast in this series......'Big Girls Blouse'??

*flounces off*

#14 charlie

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Posted 02 May 2011 - 01:59 PM

Erm. As much as I was ecstatic to have been cast in this series......'Big Girls Blouse'??

*flounces off*


Tee hee - good to see you back Cannon SLR and thanks for being a good sport. Have you been on a secret mission in Pakistan??

PS You were going to have a much bigger role but I didn't want to get banned. ;)

Edited by charlie, 02 May 2011 - 02:00 PM.


#15 St. Lukes Railings

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Posted 02 May 2011 - 06:56 PM

Tee hee - good to see you back Cannon SLR and thanks for being a good sport. Have you been on a secret mission in Pakistan??

PS You were going to have a much bigger role but I didn't want to get banned. ;)

Haha, yes I suppose my antics would have risked that. I'd have been stitching people up, backstabbing in the boardroom and generally cosying up to Nookie Bear with my cheeky chappy cockney style wit and repartie. The other housemates would hate me in there. I'd be voted out in week two and relegated to cameos on talking head shows on channel 5

Pakistan you say? Funnily enough I was there a couple of years ago near where Osama was found.

PS I never knew the bins got taken out on Bank Holiday Mondays.....boom boom