Jump to content


Photo

Blue Jokes - please do not view if easily offended


  • Please log in to reply
47 replies to this topic

#31 Sidney Ruff-Diamond

Sidney Ruff-Diamond

    Mustn't upset the almighty.

  • Banned
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 466 posts

Posted 12 December 2012 - 12:54 AM

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image
Posted Image

Edited by Summit Lover, 12 December 2012 - 08:40 AM.

Never eat a piece of cheese bigger than your head.

#32 ChewderOde

ChewderOde

    Member

  • Members 3
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,965 posts

Posted 12 December 2012 - 10:45 PM

I love the c word, used sparingly, it is astonishingly effective. I do, however, make sure I say 'prick' just as much.

totally agree - and its all subjective - people use "bugger" without much censor or second thought -but its literal meaning would arguably be thought far more offensive than the C word

any way - bloke walks into a cocktail bar and orders an "entendré" - barman says single or double -bloke says "double" - barman says (camp voice) "oooh! a large one!"

#33 Dazza

Dazza

    Council Boy

  • Members 3
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,327 posts

Posted 12 December 2012 - 11:07 PM

Anyone who uses the c word on a regular basis is a bit of a twat if you ask me !

Dazza
Your obviously mistaken me with someone who gives a fig

#34 ChewderOde

ChewderOde

    Member

  • Members 3
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,965 posts

Posted 12 December 2012 - 11:31 PM

hey - dont you use the "T" word on here

#35 FitzRoy

FitzRoy

    Member

  • Members 2
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 433 posts

Posted 13 December 2012 - 12:49 PM

Attached File  480577_10151155658787592_1363730422_n.jpg   22.58KB   4 downloads

#36 ChewderOde

ChewderOde

    Member

  • Members 3
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,965 posts

Posted 13 December 2012 - 11:15 PM

just goes to prove santa only cums once a year - pity those reindeer dragging that along

#37 Dazza

Dazza

    Council Boy

  • Members 3
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,327 posts

Posted 14 December 2012 - 10:25 AM

Yeah & only down the chimney !

Dazza
Your obviously mistaken me with someone who gives a fig

#38 Dazza

Dazza

    Council Boy

  • Members 3
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,327 posts

Posted 14 December 2012 - 10:47 AM

Went to the butcher the other day I asked the butcher where his assistant was & was informed he was sacked , I enquired why , he said it was because he found him with his dick in the sausage maker , yuk I said what did you do with the sausage maker Butcher said I sacked her too !!!!!

Was in the butcher the other day & asked for a particualr joint on the top shelf , Butcher said I bet you a fiver you cant reach it ! I said no I am not going to bet , Butcher why not , I said the steaks were too high !!!!!!

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper he sold his sole to santa !

2 dyslexic in a bar 1 said to the other can you smell gas the other said fcuk off I cant even spell my own name !

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp he bought a warehouse !

Edited by Dazza, 14 December 2012 - 10:51 AM.

Your obviously mistaken me with someone who gives a fig

#39 centralhilleagle

centralhilleagle

    Member

  • Members 3
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 387 posts

Posted 14 December 2012 - 11:51 AM

bloke walks into a cocktail bar and orders an "entendré" - barman says single or double -bloke says "double" - barman says (camp voice) "oooh! a large one!"


A lady at work asked me for a double entendré. So I gave her one.

#40 centralhilleagle

centralhilleagle

    Member

  • Members 3
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 387 posts

Posted 14 December 2012 - 12:05 PM

What do we want?

A cure for Tourettes!

When do we want it?

C**T!


Saw that on a T-shirt and it made me smile.

Edited by centralhilleagle, 14 December 2012 - 12:05 PM.


#41 nikdevlin

nikdevlin

  • Retired Members
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,054 posts

Posted 14 December 2012 - 12:46 PM

Posted Image
I make mixes, some of which are quite good. My wife and I cook things too.

#42 FitzRoy

FitzRoy

    Member

  • Members 2
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 433 posts

Posted 14 December 2012 - 02:02 PM

Attached File  309378_284258648259698_100000266949766_1156553_69855161_n.jpg   17.27KB   0 downloads

#43 Sidney Ruff-Diamond

Sidney Ruff-Diamond

    Mustn't upset the almighty.

  • Banned
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 466 posts

Posted 14 December 2012 - 02:45 PM

Posted Image
Never eat a piece of cheese bigger than your head.

#44 ChewderOde

ChewderOde

    Member

  • Members 3
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,965 posts

Posted 21 December 2012 - 10:34 PM

anyone got any rude xmas jokes?

#45 mickeyboy

mickeyboy

    Member

  • Members 3
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 801 posts

Posted 21 December 2012 - 10:51 PM

anyone got any rude xmas jokes?


A nearly rude Spanish joke.................

It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."

Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.

Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.

"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita.

Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me."

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu."

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.....


"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year."