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#1 Retired Member 1

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Posted 15 August 2007 - 12:47 PM

The title might recall bad memories from the holocaust but that the result was unintentional - for Triangle I meant the Crystal Palace one … though the topic is re gay and lesbians in the Triangle.

This might be a "tough cookie" and probably I am barking at the wrong tree but I wondered how many (if any) gay and lesbians live in CP and use this network (and or other networks/centres etc etc).

I am one of those (btw) … just curious to track on brothers and sisters in the area as I can "see" many when I am around the Triangle. Obviously I am not asking to come out on here if you are not comfortable with it.

Also I was interested to know about local pubs (not Ego/Southern Pride please, I am not 18 or over 50) .....

LSPE

P.S. offensive posts and/or PMs will be dealt with seriously ....
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#2 beefqueen

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Posted 15 August 2007 - 12:56 PM

You rang?!

When I first moved here three years ago, I thought CP was a desert of homosexuality; until a friend visited and seemed to have a much more finely honed gaydar. Then I realised there were a few gay people around and - if Gaydar chat rooms are anything to go by - there seem to be more and more gay people moving every month.

As to the social side... Well, Cafe Lava was full of good intentions but never seemed to work and I don't see anything taking its place any time soon (for what it's worth, I think Southern Pride has died since it was relaunched a few years ago, and new management have taken over). Hopefully something will spring up; there must come a point when CP can support a gay venue of its own.

#3 James

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Posted 15 August 2007 - 12:59 PM

Moderator's Note
We wouldn't normally accept topics of this nature... as LSPE has hinted in his closing comments this sort of discussion can often draw the wrong sort of attention. However, in light of recent criticism about 'over-moderating' we are going to see how this topic turns out. It's up to you to decide how you want to respond.

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#4 Retired Member 1

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Posted 15 August 2007 - 01:14 PM

I moved here cause (amongst the other things) my ex used to rent a room here, so I already new a couple of people + my best friend lives in Bromley and 2 couple of friends recently moved here - before anyone asks, there is no hidden gay agenda/mafia that is planning to take over the Crystal Palace ....
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#5 Casewicker

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Posted 15 August 2007 - 01:18 PM

Topics of this nature??? We're not talking about anything inappropriate here, are we? Truth be told, this is more of an ‘Entertainment and Activities’ topic, but I don’t like the insinuation that just because we’re talking about Gay & Lesbian things means we’re talking about something unsuitable. If we were discussing where other ‘minority’ groups liked to go out and have a drink, we wouldn’t even have a ‘Moderator’s post like that…

Anyway, I’ve just moved over from Streatham to West Norwood, and am surprised how many Gays and Lesbians live here. B&Q especially! My partner and I are still on a hunt for a decent pub, gay or straight, to call our local. And so far, I have not had much luck… I’ve been warned away from Southern Pride, which is probably a good thing. Any suggestions most welcome!

#6 Elmo

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Posted 15 August 2007 - 01:24 PM

... a desert of homosexuality ...


This was tackled a while back I seem to remember..... take a read:
http://www.virtualno...udiced suburbia

Speaking as a straight, but broad minded, fella... I don't think I'd like to see a separate gay bar in CP along the lines of Cafe Lava again. I'd like to think that there are enough places in CP where gay and lesbian couples feel relaxed enough to express themselves however they see fit. But maybe I'm wrong... :(

PS - Someone uses the phrase "inner zone facism" in the thread I linked to above... very funny!

Edited by Elmo, 15 August 2007 - 01:29 PM.

Jermaine was right... "You can't reason with stupidity"

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#7 Retired Member 1

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Posted 15 August 2007 - 01:36 PM

Elmo

In principle I agree with you and I believe in inclusion + I do not like the Soho’s “ghetto” as call it.
Moreover I never felt threatened around here.

However we are not the all the same and some people might feel uncomfortable to hold their partner’s hand (or even kiss him/her) in public (in the Triangle) or some people (sometimes under the effect of alcohol) might attack/bully a gay couple that kisses or hold hands in public.

It is a case of: if it is a personal choice then it’s fine but if gay men/women are concerned about their safety then it’s a community issue.

I wish they were open minded like you/me, but they are not …. Whilst I can look after myself (oh believe me!!) some other people might feel intimidated by comments or even actions by (I hope isolated) groups of people (here in the Triangle like everywhere else).

Said that I did notice a lack of discussion about the gay community in CP (cause there is one) and I wanted to understand if it was because gay men/women are concerned about coming out in the Triangle, if that’s the case …. Huston we have a problem – or if we are so inclusive that there is no need to discuss this topic, again doubt it …. Too!

So on the spirit of “let’s be edgy” I thought to drop a hot topic in the forum to create some discussion ….
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#8 Rosehip

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Posted 15 August 2007 - 01:39 PM

There is a thread in the archive about Gay Friendly places locally - maybe called Cafe Lava? From a few years ago?
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#9 James

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Posted 15 August 2007 - 01:59 PM

Casewicker - I wasn't insinuating anything.

Gay issues cut across political, religious and adult categories, so if anything my comments should be considered supportive.

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#10 adrianx

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Posted 15 August 2007 - 02:05 PM

Rosehip where have you been Cafe Lava RIP!!!
It closed months ago and what a shame, but to be honest, V who ran it, had the best of intentions but it just never took off. After initial excitement and a busy launch evening, it just fizzled out and was always empty. But that had a lot to do with the way it was run. I think he was trying to tap in the local gay clientelle and thought, there is a sizeable community in CP, but it takes much more than that to run a successful Bar/Restaurant these days.
If there was maybe two or three bars to feed of one another then there would be a bigger incentive to venture to CP for a drink in a 'gay friendly' bar. As it stands, Numidie, or Los Terreros which has a fab owner.

Edited by adrianx, 15 August 2007 - 02:09 PM.


#11 Bosie

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Posted 15 August 2007 - 02:10 PM

What a brilliant post LSPE, with so many gay people around I had always wondered why there was never any mention of anything gay on here.

I noticed the other day on the East Dulwich Forum that there was a thread about a group of people had arranged "Gay Drinks at the Rye" - which prompted lots of discussion, mainly around why there was a need for such a thing. I found it really interesting that most people felt that we live in such liberal open times that this would be unnecessary, wheras a lot of the gay forum members felt that this was a bit idealistic as they wouldn't, for instance, feel comfortable walking down the road holding hands or kissing their partner in public.

Personally, I am not overly keen on gay bars anyway - they never actually seem that inviting to me (Ego looks like a right dive for example - but each to their own). I find that all the pubs I go into in CP are fine in that I have never had any trouble. I suppose the Mansion is probably the most overtly gay friendly place I have been into, though it couldn't really be more camp, especially on quiz night. It's probably the one place where I would show any affection to the other half.

I have also noticed more in CP than anywhere else that gay people/couples smile in acknowledgement when they see another gay person/couple, which is nice.
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#12 Retired Member 1

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Posted 15 August 2007 - 02:14 PM

Re James comment:

I “defend” James on this and I am sure he wanted to treat this thread as any other and intervene when and if someone steps on the line. There have been several issues in the past that crossed (for instance) the political line and they have been correctly managed – for instance a thread related to the Library or the Crystal Palace Park redevelopments are political threads too.
There was a thread a while ago about someone seeking suggestions for a place for a date and that could have lead to adult comments as well but thankfully we are a civilized bunch on here!
Roll on comments ….

Re Bosie: fully agree
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#13 geronimo

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Posted 15 August 2007 - 02:21 PM

LSPE - great post and thanks for starting things off - I'm sure a good few of us have been wishing things could be more open on the subject but not been brave enough to kick things off

I'm not one for ghetto-ising things either, but you're quite right LSPE, sometimes being in a gay venue is the only place that gay people can feel able to act in a way that straight people take for granted, though, persoanally, I'm not big on public displays of affcetion from gay or straight couples!

Casewicker - as Bosie has said, I think the Mansion is the best pub around for being gay friendly

#14 beefqueen

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Posted 15 August 2007 - 02:25 PM

I noticed the other day on the East Dulwich Forum that there was a thread about a group of people had arranged "Gay Drinks at the Rye" - which prompted lots of discussion, mainly around why there was a need for such a thing. I found it really interesting that most people felt that we live in such liberal open times that this would be unnecessary, wheras a lot of the gay forum members felt that this was a bit idealistic as they wouldn't, for instance, feel comfortable walking down the road holding hands or kissing their partner in public.


Would VN want such a thing... Could be fun; could be contentious!

#15 Bosie

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Posted 15 August 2007 - 02:29 PM

Wow 13 posts in just over an hour and a half. Anyone would think M&S had just announced they were opening a Simply Food in CP! ;)

Watch out Upper Norwood there May even be a Crystal Palace Pride next year! :lol:
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