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#16 Anthony

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Posted 20 August 2010 - 03:13 PM

Do I get a VN MBE or something ? (Morals for the British Empire)

Edited by Anthony, 20 August 2010 - 03:16 PM.


#17 RetiredMember2

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Posted 23 August 2010 - 08:08 PM

This was first penned when I discovered that, before they went over to the dark side, some of the team promoting the M2 used to be key defenders of the CPP hilltop. It's a song about parking lots by Joni Mitchell, to be read to the tune of Big Yellow Taxi:

They want to pave CPP
And put up a multiplex
With a four star hotel and
Boutiques for either sex
But where will all the cars go?
They need a space to park
Don't you know
That's why they wanna dig up CPP
And build an underground parking lot

They want to take all the trees
And put them in a tree museum
And then they charge the people
A Riechmark and a half just to see them
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
They want to pave CPP
For a plex and a parking lot

I said don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
They want to pave CPP
For a plex and a parking lot

repeat x4

The End

CM keeping it clean (for now) :)

#18 RachelF

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Posted 24 August 2010 - 05:05 AM

This isn't CP related but I was wondering if anyone has come across a poem called PC Plod in Love. It's very funny and I am sure it's either by Roger McGough or Ian Macmillan. I tried googling it, but got nowhere.
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#19 Uncle Wilf

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Posted 24 August 2010 - 09:24 AM

Here are some words from Uncle Wordsworth Wilf

I am the ghost of Benjamin Barret
I got stabbed in the back with a rusty carrot

The end.
Fighting Nighthawks in the sky
Brave and loyal are these guys
Brothers turning wrong to right
Never running from a fight, fight, fight
Fighting Nightingales

#20 RachelF

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Posted 24 August 2010 - 09:37 AM

very funny!

In a similar vein, and in homage to my mother who for years has wibbled on about this being the perfect murder weapon:

I used to ride a tricycle
Although it was much harder to ride than a bicycle
And then one day
While I was peddling away
Someone stabbed me in the chest with an icicle...
Which melted, so no finger prints or weapon to be found, not that I'd be thinking about that being dead etc.
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#21 Uncle Wilf

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Posted 24 August 2010 - 09:55 AM

An icicle? Ah so the killer was "forensically aware" then......

Oh and one more...

It is not rude to pee in the nude
Unless you are viewed
Fighting Nighthawks in the sky
Brave and loyal are these guys
Brothers turning wrong to right
Never running from a fight, fight, fight
Fighting Nightingales

#22 RachelF

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Posted 24 August 2010 - 09:59 AM

I think you should combine your two two liners and add an extra line.
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#23 Uncle Wilf

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Posted 24 August 2010 - 10:26 AM

Yeah but how could I possibly link the tragic root vegetable related demise of Benjamin Barrett to the more earthy two lines?

If you've got any suggestions I promise not to take the credit for it at future poetry readings. <_<
Fighting Nighthawks in the sky
Brave and loyal are these guys
Brothers turning wrong to right
Never running from a fight, fight, fight
Fighting Nightingales

#24 RachelF

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Posted 24 August 2010 - 01:08 PM

The extra carrot rhyme could be tricky. Off the top of my head:

I am the ghost of Benjamin Barret
I got stabbed in the back with a rusty carrot
I know it's not rude to pee in the nude
(Unless you are viewed)
But try telling that to the parrot with the carrot

Hmm doesn't scan that well. And it's a bit of a cheat.
'But try telling that to the carrot wielding parrot'...?
Will have to muse on this.
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#25 RetiredMember2

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Posted 24 August 2010 - 02:45 PM

Nice root veg rappery RachelIF here's one more Uncle Wilf inspired ode a la carotte:

There once was a rusty carrot
That killed off poor Benjamin Barret
Twas the way it was wielded
That his death doth it yielded
And now it is locked in the garret

#26 RachelF

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Posted 24 August 2010 - 02:48 PM

Nice root veg rappery RachelIF here's one more Uncle Wilf inspired ode a la carotte:

There once was a rusty carrot
That killed off poor Benjamin Barret
Twas the way it was wielded
That his death doth it yielded
And now it is locked in the garret

Much better than my attempt!
I need to come up with one for Sydenham, but again a bit challenged on the rhyming front

Edited by RachelF, 24 August 2010 - 02:50 PM.

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#27 RetiredMember2

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Posted 24 August 2010 - 04:33 PM

Much better than my attempt!
I need to come up with one for Sydenham, but again a bit challenged on the rhyming front


Thanks RachelIF but yours beats mine hands down on the comedy front for use of the P word.
Sydenham eh? Well yunno I cannot resist a challenge, watch this thread :rolleyes:

CM still keeping it clean.

#28 RachelF

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Posted 24 August 2010 - 04:39 PM

The only thing that springs to mind at the moment is 'hidden 'em' (another cheat) if we are talking limerics. I suppose I only need one more and I am potentially there.
I didn't actually use the p word. Just hinted at it! There are young tender minds logging onto this site...

Edited by RachelF, 24 August 2010 - 04:40 PM.

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#29 Uncle Wilf

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Posted 25 August 2010 - 07:12 AM

SE19 - you can't move for artistry can you? <_<
Fighting Nighthawks in the sky
Brave and loyal are these guys
Brothers turning wrong to right
Never running from a fight, fight, fight
Fighting Nightingales

#30 RetiredMember2

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Posted 25 August 2010 - 08:41 AM

I didn't actually use the p word. Just hinted at it! There are young tender minds logging onto this site...

I was referring to the parrot, you silly sausage!